Jwoww is making quite a splash with her new line of Perfect Tan Bikinis which promises to be the solution to heinous tan lines. Too bad it doesn’t cure poor fashion choices, foul language, or hangovers, because then they would actually make sense.

With the help of a blow dryer or curling iron (YIKES!?) the adhesive inside the cups of the tops will stick to your skin. Apparently if “the girls” need a little lift, this is not the bikini for you. If you happen to have a pair of fake ones, or ones that naturally defy gravity, these pasty-like boob covers will supposedly get the job done.

There are some concerns here including the likelihood that a random douche bag might run by and snatch it off like a heavy duty Band-Aid. These bikinis are supposed to work better as the skin gets warmer. What happens when the water is a little cool, or you walk into an air conditioned room? While Jwoww looks stunning in her pictures, these bikinis look like a pending wardrobe malfunction.