I’m pretty sure this dude is actually still a virgin, but when you do a Playboy interview you can’t exactly admit that.

On the worst pickup line he’s ever had the courage to say:
“Hey, lady, those are some sexy-*ss extensions. I guess you won’t mind if I extend to you a personal invitation to party with me one-on-one in a scary motel room.”

On losing his virginity:
“To be honest I don’t remember too much about it. All I remember is I had been awake for almost 86 hours, I was on the roof of a Public Storage building in what seemed to be a freezing rainstorm, and Crispin Glover was there with a disposable camera he kept winding even though it had clearly run out of exposures. My memory of it has fogged as time has gone by, and I’ve pushed it out of my mind, though I do seem to remember something about a plastic Academy Award for best grandson being involved. You might say it was my first brush with the finer side of show business.”

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