So NOTW says that Madonna and Guy Ritchie have not had sex for 18 months!

As their relationship went into meltdown the musclebound singer insisted on sticking to her strict four-hour daily exercise regime despite Guy’s pleas they should spend more time together. It meant the film director went 18 months without having sex with his wife. And on the rare occasions when they did make love, he has told pals it was like “cuddling up to a piece of gristle”.

A close friend of the couple told us: “He got more and more frustrated as she spent nearly half the day working out. Afterwards she’d be too tired to make love.And towards the end Guy wouldn’t be there. He’d get fed up waiting for her and go down the pub with his mates.”

“Piece of gristle!” That’s priceless. I feel for Guy, 18 months is a long time. Hell, two days is a long time sometimes. It’s probably for the best though, I mean her arms look like a dude’s anyways…it would be kind of gross.

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